Who Am I
Growing Up in Korea
I was raised by a single mother with a brother and two sisters.
As the war broke, my brother volunteered to join South Korean Army as a high school student and was captured in his first battle on the front. He was declared lost. My mother, with three small children, tried to escape from Communist North Korean Regime after they took over the capital second time in 1951. We could not go south far enough to be safe, and we settled in a small town called Chunan, about 100 miles south of Seoul.
As a child, I was very shy. Growing with three women with no men around, I was bullied as sissy at school. I was a good student and I loved singing and drawing. I was a teacher’s pet, which made the bullying worse, but school was my haven.
We moved back to Seoul in 1958 to be reunited with my father. We were still poor and school was an escape from hard life at home.
My art teacher took me as his assistant. I modeled for him and did chores. He taught me the basics of art. Every afternoon after school, going through art books with pictures of masterpieces in his office was the happiest time of a day. The seed of passion for art was planted then. I thought about being an artist. But my family and teachers were all against it for a reason of being “a starving artist”. I gave up the idea. My parents wanted me to go to a medical school, but I chose science because I could not stand the sight of blood.
My Career
Upon graduation from Seoul National University with BS degree in Chemistry in 1969, I came to the States for graduate study at Brown University in Providence, RI. As I started research for thesis in the third year, I began to question if I was doing the right thing. I liked chemistry as knowledge to pursue, but I did not enjoy working in the laboratory. I got PhD, but I gave up the original plan to be a professor, and decided to do more practical work in industry. I got married in 1973 and we moved to Columbus, Ohio in 1974.
I worked in R&D of a chemical company. I still did not like working in the lab. It was devastating to accept that I was in wrong vocation after devoting over ten years of my most precious years in chemistry. While working full time, I went back to business school and got MBA at the University of Dayton in 1982. In my last year in business school, I finally found my sweet spot; thinking strategically and developing effective organizations.
The period between mid 1970s and early1980s was a turbulent time for me not only professionally, but also spiritually. I was born again as a Christian in1983, ten years after I started to go to church when I got married. Yet, I was still a weekend Christian, living just like everybody else during the week, trying to survive and win at work. I wanted to start fresh to live as a follower of Christ all the time, everywhere.
In 1991, I started the second career at a company in Wisconsin. They allowed me to work with freedom I wanted. I felt fulfilled because my professional and spiritual life was finally coming together as one, enabling me to be an integrated Christian. The company rewarded me beyond my wildest imagination. In 1995, to my astonishment, my boss gave me an opportunity to lead a task force for leadership development. I still remember what my boss said, “Jai, I don’t know how you do your job, but whatever it is, I want you teach it to the rest my organization.” My way of serving others at work must have been noticed by the company. Taking over this extracurricular assignment was a challenge beyond my education and ability, and I had to be on my knee asking God for guidance and strength. Looking back, it was the most meaningful thing I’ve done in my career.
A New Life
My wife and I had agreed for some time that I would retire as early as possible, and dedicate the rest of our remaining active years to God. I had to decide what do and plan ahead. I had considered two options: 1) missionary work overseas and 2) coaching Christian youth on leadership in the States.
I was in Maui for a conference in 2000. In a seaside gallery I saw a painting, which impacted my life in a very profound way. It was one of the most important god moments in my life. Art has been my passion all my life since childhood. But I did not do any art work for over 45 years. “I wish I could do that!” It remained just as that, a wish.
We went to Ghana in 2001 for a short term mission to explore if God was calling me for missionary work overseas. The task was above and beyond me. I came back totally defeated, disappointed in myself. On the last day at the mission center in Accra, the host pastor showed me murals by a Korean itinerant missionary artist, who used a unique style of painting, fusing African and Korean motifs. These two incidents made me think that it may be possible for me to do God’s work with art, which I loved all my life.
As I was approaching retirement, I prayed earnestly about what I was to do. Upon my request, as a retirement gift, the company gave me an exclusive free licensing right to the leadership development program I led to develop. I took it as a sign that God was leading me to Christian youth ministry. However, the experience in Maui did not fade away. Its echo grew louder and louder as years passed by.
“A picture speaking louder than thousand words, a picture telling God story at a glance, a ubiquitous picture reminding God’s presence in every household.”
The idea excited me, but “How can I? I have not done anything for 45 years!” It was a daunting idea. I was on my knees wrestling with it for months. One day in the spring of 2008, God spoke to my heart, “Jai, why are you so worried? Do you want to do it for me or for you? Even if it is a scribble on a back of an envelope, I will use if I find it valuable. Do what your heart is telling you. Leave the result to me.” That put an end to my debate. I came to a conclusion; “If I try and fail, I will have no regret. But if I do not try now, I will regret for the rest of my life.”
Upon retiring in 2008 I began a new life as “a pencil in His Hand”. Before starting my work, I prayed to God to fill me with His spirit as He blessed Bezaleel and Aholiab to build the Tabernacle (Exodus 31). From initial ideation, research, to the final touch, I was sensing His presence and His leading. I came to understooding what Eric Liddell meant when he said; “When I run, I feel His pleasure.” It was a time communing with Him. It is His new way of sanctifying me.
After being rejected by many galleries because my work was too religious, I finally had a private exhibition at Johns Creek community art center in January 2025. Friends and visitors encouraged me to share my work and story with others through website and social media, which I knew little about. Several friends volunteered to help me to make it a reality. It is the beginning of Christianlivingart.com.