Meditation
Meditation of Him
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned, every one, to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.
(Isaiah 53:3-7)
Under His Feet
Come to the Cross,
Stare at the Cross,
Kneel under the Cross,
Touch His nail pierced feet,
Feel His warm blood,
Listen to His whisper,
And
See how your life changes.
INRI
I have seen many crucifixes; emaciated but relatively clean body with some blood marks. The first crucifix that shocked me was a crucifix created by Monsignor Giulio Ricci, replicating all the wounds and blood marks of the shroud of Turin. I could hardly breathe. I wept uncontrollably.
Watching “The Passion of Christ” was the most gut-wrenching vision in my whole life. Swollen face, flesh ripped by flagrum, beaten and disfigured body drenched in blood! I cried and cried, and had to cry out. “Oh, No! Please, stop.”
The condition of Jesus in the movie was exactly like the shape in the Shroud of Turin. It made me feel His suffering far more than real, more visceral and more transforming.
Bliss
What is the chief end of man? It is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. (Westminster Short Catechism Question 1)
I spent many hours to find how our forefathers of faith defined and lived out this catechism for centuries. I came to a conclusion that we are left to own device to give meanings to them and live it out in the context of culture we live in. But I cannot not live with theology alone where the rubber meets the road.
When I rephrase it as “It is to glorify my Father and enjoy Him forever”, I was able to come up with more concrete and actionable ideas as to how I can live out this catechism.
Salt and Light I and II
We are called to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13), the light of the world (Matthew 5:14). But my Christian life was all about me being the light, with little regard for the salt. One look at the painting by Victor Bregeda in 2000 convicted me of my Narcissistic spirituality: how my faith in Christ was adulterated with pride and self-centeredness.
There I understood why Jesus talked about the salt and the light back to back, but the salt first. The painting made me see that the salt and the light are one and the same thing in that they all have to dissolve away, melt away, and eventually disappear away to do their job. I simply did not want to disappear like salt.
Click here to see the inspiration through.Victor Bregeda’s Eucharist painting that inspired me.
Sand and Stars
“There are more stars in the universe than all the grains of sand on earth” (Carl Sagan in “Cosmos”). I occasionally visited Brown Beach in Block Island. While my friends were having a good time clam-baking around the bonfire, I sat alone on the beach under the night sky, like in Van Gogh’s “Starry Night.”
I saw myself as a little boy picking up grains of sand into a bucket. “What is the point in this? There are more stars in the heaven than all of the sand on the earth. Earth is not even a star!” I began to feel like nothing but a grain of sand on the beach, a speck of dust in the universe, one molecule of water in the ocean. Yet a sense of wonder enveloped me.
Choices
In the fall of 1969, the year I came to America, at the landing of the grand staircase at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, I stood in awe with my heart pounding before a gigantic painting. It was Gaugin’s enigmatic masterpiece titled, “Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going?”
It was an audacious art work, attempting to pose the perennial question about the purpose and significance of human existence that has been pondered by many, but with no definitive answer. Since I, an agnostic, married Christian woman with a promise to respect her faith, Gaugin’s search for answers to these questions became my urgent existential task. I came to a conclusion that there are convincing arguments on both side of these issues and it all comes down to a matter of choice.
Touch Point
Early in my life, the most fundamental question confronting me was whether the universe and human are created by God with His design and purpose, or just accidental by-products of the cosmic chaos from the origin we don’t have any ideas about. It was sparked again at an art museum showing Gaugin’s art. That was my touch point with God.
The spiritual world and the cosmos, which sent me to a long journey searching for the answers to the questions Gaugin challenged me with his enigmatic painting in Boston.
Cosmos and Hairs
“Am I not a God near at hand and not a God far off? Can anyone hide himself in secret places so that I shall not see him?” (Jeremiah 23:23-24).
How would God who created and holds the universe together count the number of hair on my head? It seemed utterly implausible. If human is capable of exploring the universe and yet can trace a moving car on the earth by the use of the same technologies in satellite, super telescope and computing capabilities beyond human brain, it seems like an infinitesimal task for omniscient and omnipotent God to create and hold the universe together, while keeping track of the number of hairs on my head all at the same time.
Chinese Genesis
In most Asian counties such as China, Korea and Japan, Judaism and Christianity have been regarded as Western religions whereas Daoism, Confucianism and Buddhism are called as Eastern religions. Chinese written history goes back to 25th century BC.
Daoism started in China in 6th century BC, Confucianism and Buddhism in 5th century BC.
Then what did people believe in China for almost 2,000 years before these traditional eastern religions? Does Chinese written history, which started with emergence of pictograms, say anything about it?
Unlike polytheistic culture common in the other parts of the ancient world, Chinese before 5-6th century BC worshipped one invisible, supreme god, called Shang Di (上帝), which means a king or highest deity (帝) that lives above (上); very similar to Yahweh, the Hebrew monotheistic God. The Temple of Heaven in Beijing is dedicated to Shang Di. The current temple complex, built between 1406 and 1420, include many features that symbolize the connection between Heaven and Earth, yet without any symbol or statue of God, strikingly similar to Judaism which forbid any graven images of God. Scholars had discovered that over one hundred Chinese characters could explain the Biblical accounts in Genesis 1-11.
Israel, Israel
“I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.” (Genesis 12:2)
Few historians would dispute that the Jews are the most unique people and Israel the most unusual nation in human history.
The history of the Jews has been the bloodiest, the most tragic, culminating in the massacre of six million Jews during the WW II.
Then how did the covenant of blessing to Abraham play out in Jewish history?
Even in the absence of Israel as a nation, and through the diaspora, God kept His covenants of blessings to Abraham for 4000 years, making them the wealthiest, the smartest and the most creative people on earth in history, and ultimately with the restoration of Israel as a nation after two millennia. Indeed, the history of the Jews and Israel is the testimony of God’s faithfulness to the world.
Tefellin
Jews have been the most hated people in history, but they not only survived, but flourished.
What made the Jews persevere as God’s chosen people and preserve their heritage for the last 3,500 years? I found one of the clues when I watched a young boy in prayer shawl with two leather boxes, one on his forehead and another strapped on his left arm, while they were celebrating bar mitzvah at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem in 2005. They are still obeying God’s commands made over three thousand years ago.
“I will make you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.” (Genesis 12:2)
End Times
Most of the signs of the end time mentioned in the scripture are not unique to the end times. They had been repeated throughout human history.
Then what are the unique signs of the end times, which human mind could not have imagined in the first century when the four gospels and revelation were written, even until 19th century, but became true or proven probable only in the last century?
Let us look into the development during the 20th century, which was unthinkable in previous generations: the gospel to all nations, rebirth of Israel and nuclear/space warfare. No one knows when the end will come, but we can read the weather. We indeed live in the beginning of the end times.
“Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” (Matthew 24:44)
Shadow of Eden
“I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” (Genesis 3:15)
It is the first of approximately 2,500 prophecies in the Bible. It is the first prophecy spoken by God Himself. When Adam and Eve fell to the serpent’s temptation that they could be as wise as God, God cursed the serpent and the ground, but not Adam and Eve. He simply punished them with pain and toil, and expelled them from Eden.
His salvation plan for humanity was declared and set in motion in the garden of Eden. The gigantic shadow of the cross was already cast into the garden of Eden four millennia before the cross on the Calvary.
Lifted Up
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
Nicodemus was a respected Pharisee and a member of the Sanhedrin, who sought Jesus. When most of the disciples abandoned Him, Nicodemus came out as His disciple at the politically most dangerous time when he could lose everything.
What changed him so dramatically in one night? Jesus reproached him for not understanding His words. He suffered insult and stayed (John 3:10). And he became the first one Jesus told for what purpose He came to earth and how He was going to accomplish it; all with one story of a bronze serpent lifted up by Moses (Numbers 21:4-9).
Chasm I and II
We, as believers of Christ, have dual citizenship: earthly kingdom and heavenly kingdom. We are called to live as the salt and the light in the earthly kingdom as ambassadors of the heavenly kingdom. We find ourselves in a quandary, caught in the chasm between the two kingdoms of opposing values: win vs. lose; take vs. give; be the first vs. the last; be served vs. serve; get even vs. forgive; be proud vs. humble; be selfish vs. selfless.
Godly values are so counter-intuitive and counter-cultural that it seems impossible to accept them as a pathway to a meaningful, fulfilled life on this side of the chasm. Many of us just give up jumping over to other side, struggling as conflicted Christians.
It became my mission to teach young people that God’s way is the best way to win no matter where you are. Free yourself from the lies of the world. You may fear you might fall jumping over the chasm.
Catalyst
If we define grace as God’s core character and power that make something impossible possible within us, grace becomes like a catalyst in chemical or biological reaction in a number of aspects.
A catalyst is a substance that makes reaction start or increase the rate of a reaction by lowering the activation energy- the energy required to start the reaction- without being consumed or altered in the process. Catalyst makes things happen which is impossible without.
Grace makes things happen within us which is impossible without. Catalyst is needed for chemical change, enzyme for biological change, and grace for spiritual change. Just as the reaction does not occur without energy even in the presence of catalyst, our continuing transformation in sanctification does not occur without faith even in the presence of His grace.
Grace
“What is grace? What is in the unmerited gift? If it is free, who gets it?”
I did not know then. Now I know that grace is a free gift that makes the impossible possible. Looking back, I think I already had received the gift of grace when I stumbled through three days of fasting, even though I did not think anything happened. That grace was something that compelled me back to seeking Him even more in spite of the feeling of rejection and failure.
That is the impossible made possible. It was my first tasting of grace. It was the beginning of my being born again.
Unshackled
Because of the insecurity for not having a man in a household, the fear of lacking food or bus fare for the next day, the pain and shame of being bullied as a boy without a father and for being sissy, and the pressure of being the only male who is responsible for the family, I always had to push myself and prepare for all the worst case scenarios. It motivated me and I achieved most of the goals I set for myself. But it had pushed me deep into constant anxiety and fear for all these years. Now I realized that it wasn’t I who made me. All along I was under the care of my heavenly Father, when my earthly father was missing.
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)
I was finally unshackled from the shame and pain of the past and the anxiety and fear of the future. I was set free by the truth revealed in that moment. I was born again of my heavenly Father..
A Sand in Heaven
[Continued from Unshackled]
I was set free by the truth revealed at that moment. I was born again of my heavenly Father. Now I know I can rest in His arms.
“I tell you, in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance.” (Luke 15:7)
I was just a sand on a beach of one planet in the cosmos with billions of stars. Yet I could hear angels and saints rejoicing in heaven with bells ringing, shouting, “Jai Ho, welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven”.
Born Again
“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3)
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
“Being born again” or “spiritual birth” is one of the commonly used terminologies in Christianity today. The phrase “being born again” was first mentioned when Nicodemus visited Jesus under the cover of night, when the most beloved word of Jesus (John 3:16) was proclaimed.
Why did Jesus use the analogy of physical birth to explain spiritual salvation?
Because there is a parallel between physical and spiritual birth.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may
boast.” (Ephesians 2:8,9)
For physical birth, it needs three things: an egg, a sperm and a womb in which embryo grows to fetus until birth.
For spiritual birth, it also needs three things: word (water), God’s grace and the womb of faith in which spiritual life is created and grow until birth.
Dawn
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” (CS Lewis in 1962)
Although Lewis did not elaborate what “everything else” he sees, I intuitively marveled at his statement. Lewis was describing exactly how I felt at my conversion in 1983.
My spiritual eyes were opened and I could see spiritual reality around me at the present moment.
The life in eternity became as important as the present life.
Now I see God with a lens of faith, not of doubt. I see myself with a lens of hope, not of despair. We see others with a lens of love, not of apathy.
Shroud of Turin
Isaiah 53:5
“He was wounded for our transgressions. He was wounded for our iniquities; the chastisement was upon him, and by His stripes we are healed.”
The shroud of Turin is a rectangular linen cloth, dated back to the fourteenth century, bearing the image of a man who appears to have suffered physical trauma in a manner consistent with crucifixion. It is the most scientifically analyzed artifact in the world.
I believe that the shroud is the physical evidence of the death and resurrection of Christ, which God had left two thousand years ago for the people of the end times, so that with advanced scientific capabilities, unimaginable even several decades ago, no one with intellectual honesty has an excuse to think otherwise.
Many years later when I was watching the blood drenched flesh of Christ torn by Roman flagellum in Mel Gibson’s film, “The Passion of the Christ”, I wept uncontrollably. It was an exact replicate of the shroud of Turin.
Whenever I have problems forgiving someone or my endurance is running out, the shroud comes to my mind. Blood drenched Christ seems to be speaking, “When I suffered this for you, can’t you bear it?”
I thank God for the shroud because it is the ultimate gift to us left in the end time.
Wretched Man I and II
It is the condition of our flesh; Paul’s and ours. Paul listed seventeen works of the flesh in Galatians 5:19-21. The Catholic church boiled them down to the “Seven Deadly Sins: pride, greed, lust, wrath, gluttony, envy, and sloth.” We had been wallowing in these seven deadly sins. Not only we did not mind, we enjoyed their touches on every part of our life.
Jesus, by His grace, made us to see our reality as a slave. But the enemy did not flee, leaving us alone. We still struggle to be free from his grip. However, as Christ defeated the enemy, He gave us the authority and power to fight and defeat the fleshly evils left in us. When a wretched man dies daily on the altar, he is finally a free man in God; a living sacrifice, a pleasing aroma to God.
Twins
The battle is like a long-drawn bloody civil war in a newly independent nation or like a rivalry and court battle for inheritance between twins.
At the bottom of it, it always is a battel of good and evil, new and old, and self-sacrifice and greed. Our newly regenerated spirit is allied with God and the His Spirit. Our old flesh is allied with the Devil and the world. We feel the pain of the conflict everyday, hoping the war would end soon. Is a war raging within you? Don’t be afraid or dismayed. Take heart. It is the evidence that the Holy Spirit is working in you, close at hand.
Persevere and stay alert all the time. Say “No” to the evil twin and starve him. Choose the godly twin every time. Feed him, nourish him. This battle of the twins is a lifelong lifestyle of sanctification in Christ until the day we are gloried in Christ.
Devil’s Trio
In 19th century, the Devil unleashed his three top henchmen, the Devil’s trio: Karl Marx, Charles Darwin and Sigmund Freud, who had infiltrated into every area of personal life, culture, and politics.
We are in a totally new phase of spiritual warfare against the Devil and the dark spiritual forces, who are in control of the airwaves of the earth atmosphere. Now it literally is a spiritual warfare in the heavenly places, the AIR. Now whoever controls the airwaves controls the world.
We must to stay alert and guard diligently, repent and pray together, resist and fight together, and stand up together with the full armor of God to fulfill our destiny to be the hope and the light to the world.
Fallen
We hear so much and too often about spiritual leaders and celebrities falling from grace. The impact is often devastating to themselves, people around them, and even to those who knew them by books and media.
John summarizes temptations Jesus faced in the desert, and the same we face everyday, in three categories:
“For all that is in the world—1) the desires of the flesh, 2) the desires of the eyes, and 3) pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.” (1 John 2:16)
Most of the time, they are not victims of their enemies, but casualties of their unchecked desires for fame, power, money, sex, pleasure, and pride.
I Die Daily
Jesus was nailed on the cross with three large spikes. The spikes stayed where they were hammered in until His death was complete. On the other hand, if our fleshly desires are nailed on the cross, they invariably come back alive and we have to start all over. Then what is the difference? Our flesh does not and cannot die once and for all like Jesus’.
The nails on our cross must be like large screws, which come loose over time and we have to tighten over and over again as long as our flesh stays alive. But the good news is that the screw has the mark of Christ; the cross that ensures that it will never come off and we will have final victory. Paul’s exhortation to die daily is a reminder to check if all screws, pride in particular, are where they are supposed to be. If any come loose, we need to tighten them again and again, no matter how painful and costly they are.
Living Sacrifice
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your
spiritual worship.” (Romans 12:1)
Paul is speaking from his own experience as a living sacrifice for 25 years: hungry, naked, threatened, slandered, beaten, stabbed, jailed, robbed, shipwrecked. “A living sacrifice” means staying put in the flame on the altar, with feet bound voluntarily, until the fleshly desires are burned down to ashes, no matter how painful and costly it may be. When your fleshly desires are dead and gone, no temptations can prick you to squirm and yet your eyes are focused on His holiness, you become a sacrifice dead to sin, yet alive to God in Christ.
It is a paradox, yet, the core of beauty and power of Christian life; dying to self while fully alive in Christ, surrendering control but walking in freedom, giving everything and gaining far more than you give.
Silence
“And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.” (Mark 1:35)
Jesus taught us to be alone (physically), quiet (free from outside noise), silent (free from inner chatter) and still (inner calm) to be in communion with the Father. But Jesus walked on earth two thousand years ago in a quiet agrarian society with little entertainment. Now we live in a culture where we are constantly stimulated and amuse ourselves to death 24/7. We are afraid to be alone and quiet. We cannot stand silence.
How did these distractions, temptations, and addictions come to us? It is no longer from newspapers and magazines you read, radio and TV you listen to. They all come to our ears and eyes by digital signals transmitted through the electromagnetic waves in the exosphere of the earth; the air in the heavenly places. We are literally at a war with Air.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12)
As CS Lewis said in “The Screw Tape Letters”, the Devil will stop at nothing to prevent you from being alone with God in silence. Cover your eyes and ears. Sit silent and still. Free yourself from all digital signals. And start to hear His gentle whispers.
My Trinity I
The Trinity is the central doctrine of Christian faith, yet the most mysterious.The Trinity is typically represented as a triangle, but it stops at being an unexplainable theological concept. “How can I re-visualize the triangle in a way that it makes a real difference in my spiritual life?”
When I put another apex, “Me”, the two dimensional Trinity popped out as a three dimensional Trinity in a shape of a tetrahedron. As I meditate and pray, His living word is poured into My Trinity and filling it, like a bud of trillium starts to grow, eventually three petals opening up, releasing its fragrance from within. The love of the Father makes me a more loving person. As we become a loving person, we are drawn to fulfill the commandment of love (CL) of the Father. As we become a joyful person, we compelled to fulfill the commission of the Gospel (CM) from the Son by sharing the joy of salvation.
As we become a peaceful person, we begin to fulfill our individual calling (CL) as gifted by the Holy Spirit. That is what I call living a life of 3C (commandment of love, commission of the gospel, calling of personal gift).
My Trinity II
As I meditate and pray, His living word is poured into My Trinity and filling it, like a bud of trillium starts to grow, eventually three petals opening up, releasing its fragrance from within. The love of the Father makes me a more loving person. The joy of salvation from the Son makes me a more joyful person. The peace of the Holy Spirit makes me a more peaceful person. The fruit of love, joy and peace, the grace from above, help us to cultivate other fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5 (gentleness, patience, self- control, goodness, kindness, and faithfulness).
As we become a loving person, we are drawn to fulfill the commandment of love (CL) of the Father. As we become a joyful person, we compelled to fulfill the commission of the Gospel (CM) from the Son by sharing the joy of salvation. As we become a peaceful person, we begin to fulfill our individual calling (CL) as gifted by the Holy Spirit. That is what I call living a life of 3C (commandment of love, commission of the gospel, calling of personal gift).
Temple of God
Everything you do here on earth in faith rises to heaven: prayer, act of love and sacrifice, sweat and tears for His kingdom, and most of all, the fruit of the spirit you bear. The house God is preparing for you in heaven is made of materials you send to heaven. The more a believer lives by the spirit, the more the fruits become like gold, silver, and precious jewels; the very substances used in building your residence in God’s eternal kingdom.
Your dwelling place in heaven is tailor made to reflect your identify in Christ and the fruits you bear in His Spirit on earth. Then how about the temple of God where the holy spirit dwells in you while on earth?
God created two temples for His glory: the church for corporate worship and you for private worship.God created our body to receive and reflect His glory as an individual, just as He created the church for the same purpose as a corporate body. That is why Paul said, “You are the temple.” (1 Corinthians 3:17)
Cross of the Gospel
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24)
“Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:27)
Most of us don’t wear cross because we want to die on it. We wear it as symbols of faith, hope and identify on necklaces, on tattoos, on T-shirts.
Then, what does “take up his cross” mean to us now, two thousand years later, both spiritually and practically?
When Jesus walked on Via Doloroa, the cross was a symbol of suffering, shame and surrender. On the day of crucifixion of Jesus on the Calvary, the cross was a lightening catcher of sins of the world.
After they found the tomb of Jesus empty, the cross became the symbol of resurrection. After Jesus ascended to Heaven and the church was birthed on the day of Pentecost, the cross is the symbol of God’s plan for the salvation. The gospel proclaims: He did it all (creation), We lost it all (fall), He did it all (redemption), We get it all (restoration), and the cross became the symbol of perfection: faith, hope and love.
Cross of Peace
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Jesus told his disciples to take their cross and follow Him. He also told them to take His yoke and learn from Him. In the double yoke Jesus is referring as “my yoke”, two oxen are bound together to keep them walk side by side with balance . The lead ox bears most of the load and the young ox follows as if it is resting. Jesus does not tell us to take our own cross and plow the field alone. He invites us to take upon His double yoke and plow the field together, resting in Him while learning from Him. When peace feels impossible, it is often because you are trying to achieve it, rather than receive it. The peace the world gives depends on the circumstance and requires resolution. The peace of God does not.
Triple Cross
There have been many different shapes of cross throughout Christian history, emphasizing different meanings of the cross, representing different culture and history. My favorite is a cross that has two smaller crosses within, like a Russian stacking doll: triple cross.
Triple cross reminds me of the three core messages from the scripture, and guides me how I should live Christianity daily.
The cross Jesus asks us to take up is 1) the cross to die on, 2) the cross of the Gospel to live and share, and 3) the cross of peace, His parting gift, all rolled into one. That triple cross is the only cross you need to carry in order to makes your life complete in Christ.
Two Canyons I and II
Grand Canyon is one of my favorite national parks. I enjoyed the view from the easy path in the south rim or took a plane ride through the valleys.
Just like in Grand Canyon, we walk through the narrow paths in the valleys of life, one side with hills of regret and wounds from the past, and the other of worry and fear of the future. We go through life as if we are being crucified, stretched between the two. How can we get out of these valleys of regret and fear? Lake Powell seemed to point to an answer.
God’s grace and peace, like water, flows to the deepest crevices within my heart, fills them completely. It lifts me up from the hills of regret and pain of the past. The hills of anxiety and fear of the future on the other side are also buried deep under His grace and peace, troubling me no more. The valleys are still there, but now under the water. I do not see it. They can inflict pain or fear on me no more.
Four Heart
Every morning I go to a picture of four letters, “Four Jeong, 정(情)”, to check how I would look before God, just as I check myself in front of a mirror to see how I look before I go out to see someone. It is one character “Jeong, 정(情)” in Korean, meaning affection or tender heart, but it means four different conditions of heart in Chinese characters.
1. Am I pure? (淨) Is my heart pure before Him?
2. Am I still? (靜) Is my heart still in Him?
3. Am I right? (正) Is my heart right before Him?
4. Am I settled? (定) Is my heart anchored onto Him?
Examined Life
Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” You only one life to live. If you feel your life worth living, it deserves regular evaluations for you to finish well. Our daily prayer tends to be micro and near-sighted, often focused on things at hand; things we need to repent or things we need today. We see the trees, but often miss the forest.
Sometimes we need to sit back and check our spiritual life from a longer, more macro perspectives in order to see the pattern and direction of changes. We need to learn to zoom in and out with ease in order to see the real and holistic picture of our spiritual condition.
When I want to zoom out, I stumble, often feel lost, not knowing where to start and how to proceed. I wished I had some guidelines I can use a framework to assess in a more consistent manner. “What should I examine with what criteria and with what goals?”
In My Name
Today humans have developed wireless communication technology to the level once conceivable only in spiritual realm. And this technology evolution not only changed the communication in physical realm, but also has brought visceral new understanding of communication in the spiritual realm. In all on-line business transactions, we need ID, account number and password.
Jesus put one crucial condition for our prayer “Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” (John 14:13, 14).
What does asking or praying “in my name” really mean? It means all prayers to God have to pass through Him with His seal of approval. Without the correct understanding of its meaning, our prayer can be a vapor vanishing in the air as soon as they are uttered. Do you have valid ID, account number and password with Jesus to get to the throne room of the Father God? When you invoke His name, will He call you back by your name, or ask, “Do I know you?”
Abba, Father
In the Old Testament, God had been feared and revered, calling Him with a number of names with El (as in Elohim, Mighty One) or with YHWH (as in YHWH Rappa, eternal healing god). There are references of calling God as the Father of Israel as a nation (Deuteronomy 32:6, Isaiah 63:16, 64:8, Malachi 1:6, 2:10), but not as a personal God.
Abba is recorded three times in the New Testament, where it is used by Jesus and believers to express their status as adopted children of God. It was a radical shift, initiated by Jesus Himself.
Change my Heart, O God
You are the Potter and I am the clay,
Mold my heart anew,
That I may be more like You.
Make it pure that I may always see you,
Make it large that I may enfold anyone and anything in my path,
Make it strong that I may battle all enemies.
You came to serve and so will I,
I may be a conduit of Your love,
And abide in You forever.
Hidden
“How should we then live?” had been a perennial human question throughout the history.
God gave us the universal answer for all generations in every nation in Paul’s letters two thousand years ago. “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)
Let yourself be hidden in Christ and let Him live in you is an antidote to all human problem: personal, cultural and national. It does not happen at once in the moment of conversion. It is just a starting point. It takes years of disciplined training: sanctification.